Thirsty Hoe Who Coughed On Uber Driver Goes On IG Live To Give Her Side Of The Story Wearing Nothing But Lingerie
It was the cough heard around the world on Sunday, March 7th, when Uber driver Subhakar Khadka asked his three passengers to put on masks, ya know, because of the fucking pandemic that’s killed millions of people. How did they respond? Well as you can see from this screenshot, none of them took too kindly to being told what to do, especially the bitch in black. The video shows the trio acting in unison as they proceed to cough on him, joke about having the virus, take his mask, attempt to steal his phone, and then pepper spray Khadka as they walk away. Luckily, the entire incident was captured on Khadka’s dash cam for the entire world, and more importantly Uber and Lyft, to see.
This last bit of information is the most important part in my opinion. Because Khadka recorded the entire incident, Uber and Lyft had enough proof to permanently ban the bitch in black from ever using their services again. That’s right. She can literally never.... NEVER for the rest of her life use Uber or Lyft. God does that make my balls tingle. Sweet sweet justice indeed. I mean just think about that for a second. All the times in a given year you use Uber or Lyft, now imagine having to call a taxi and wait an hour just for them to never show up... every single time you need to go somewhere. Or what if there are no taxis available? If you don’t have vehicle you’re screwed. There’s no way around it you’re completely fucked. And good. I hope this pathetic bitch spends the rest of her miserable life walking from one ex’s house to another, begging for enough change to take the bus to her next drug test she’ll fail. Serves this cunt right.
And the story gets better, as the bitch in black took to Instagram Tuesday night in an ugly pink bra and matching panties to give her stupid side of the story as if anyone actually gave two shits. And of course she didn’t apologize. No. That would be far too mature for this waste of human life. She even went on to say that she preferred Lyft anyway. God I’d love to be the person to break THAT news to her. Lol.
I just hope Uber and Lyft can identify the other two passengers so they too can join this miserable moron as they walk everywhere for the rest of their lives, because the only way these three will ever be able to afford vehicles is if they put that lingerie to good use on OnlyFans or the nearest street corner.
As for Subhakar Khadka? Well someone setup a GoFundMe page for him and it’s up to over $57,000. Of all the bitches in this story, karma once again proved itself to be top dog.
Papa John’s Former CEO Hard At Work Trying “To Get Rid Of This N-Word In My Vocabulary”
Remember this moron? Well unfortunately he’s hard to forget. His Papa John’s commercials couldn’t have been more boring and redundant, but since there were 5 trillion of them, he’ll forever be engrained in our brains. Luckily for us though, the pain and suffering of watching those commercials abruptly stopped when the n-word slipped out of this nitwit’s big mouth during a conference call back in 2018, which put an abrupt end to his run as Papa John’s CEO/Annoying asshole on all those pizza commercials. I’m obviously not condoning using this kind of language, but if there’s a silver lining to the whole situation, it’s that we finally got some relief from seeing his ugly mug every day.
However, nothing good ever lasts forever. And after spending 20 months in hiding, CEO’s ex token boy reappeared like a reoccurring nightmare to give an interview with the One America News Network updating us on his progress from former klansman wannabe to whatever the heck he’s trying to make us believe he’s become. Oh and if you’re not familiar with One America News network then congratulations, keep it that way. I’ll just say this about them... Using racial slurs during a conference call probably isn’t gonna get you fired from this world class news organization, it’ll probably get you a promotion.
Anyways, back to the ex Papa John’s bitch and the reason I’m writing this blog in the first place. In the interview he gives with OAN, Schnatter stated that he had three goals over the last 20 months, one of those being getting rid of the N-word in his vocabulary.
According to the man himself, he’s been working to get rid “of this N-word in my vocabulary.” for the past 20 months? Yes, almost two entire years. Uh... how in the hell is it taking you almost two years to stop using the N-word? At what point does this dude just give up and never speak again, let alone try and run another company. If it’s going to take you almost two fucking years to stop saying a word most 7 year-olds know not to say, I gotta think you’re just a lost cause at that point. If a person can’t get the N-word out of their vocabulary within a certain time frame, they should legally be required to have their mouths sewn shut. And 20 months, by the way, is far longer than whatever the time frame should be. And for god sakes dude, we’ve been in quarantine for the last year! Is it seriously that difficult for you not to say the N-word just in your everyday conversations with your wife, or mistresses, or maids, or hot “therapist” or whoever else you talk to? Jesus christ man, get your shit together.
Now I know, there are obviously a lot of extremely racist people out there that use words like this on an everyday basis. And I know I shouldn’t be surprised that someone this racist ran a company worth billions for how many years. But I just can’t get over the fact that scum like him still exist, and that he admitted it took him 20 fucking months to retrain his ignorant brain not to immediately shout out racial slurs whenever it damn well pleased. At the very least don’t admit that you moron. Make something up. The dude is just pathetic in every sense of the word.
I guess it’s fitting that of all the pizza companies to run, he ran Papa Johns. When’s the last time you ate at that dump? That place sucks.
Blue Whales Can Swallow Half A Million Calories In A Single Gulp
What the fuck? Seriously? How is that possible? Well, according to people much smarter than you and me, a fully grown blue whale can inhale up to 500,000 calories of shrimp or minnows or whatever the hell they eat in a single mouthful. That’s just insane. Now I know blue whales are the largest mammals by a long shot, and their mouthes are the size of half the universe or whatever, but still. Half a million calories? Jesus Christ man.
To put this in perspective, a Big Mac is 563 calories. So these monsters are eating roughly 888 Big Macs every time they take a big bite from their ocean buffet. How many Big Macs can a single McDonalds even make in a day? McDonalds outta find a way to service these ocean dwellers. They’d do a zillion dollars in sales every second.
And as if this fact wasn’t mind blowing enough, the average 300,000 pound blue whale needs 12,500 pounds of food every single day to survive. To again put this in perspective, the average NFL player weighs 245 pounds and there are 55 players on a team. So an animal that actually exists today, that actually swims in our oceans, literally needs to eat 51 NFL players, or damn near an entire NFL team, every single day just to survive. That’s fucking crazy. And that’s gotta get expensive. I hope they have dollar menus where these giants feast. Also, how do you even find this much food to eat every single day? I can’t find anything to eat in my own fridge half the time, and these things are finding over six tons of food just wandering around the ocean? How? That just seems impossible.
Half a million calories in a single gulp. Unless you’re a hooker, that’s quite impressive.
Joe Biden’s Dogs Unfairly Kicked Out Of White House
Joe Biden’s dogs, Champ and Major, were unfairly returned to the Biden family home in Delaware this week following a tiny little biting incident involving Major and a member of White House security. The only details we currently have of the account were those provided today by White House press secretary Jen Psaki. She said that Major was surprised by an unfamiliar person, and I quote, “Reacted in a way that resulted in a minor injury to the individual.”
So basically, Major didn’t like a certain security guard and let them know with a little nip to the ass. Big fucking deal. He’s the First Dog of the United States of America, and because he let the security guards know he doesn’t approve of them following him around all day, he gets shipped back to Delaware like some pair of shoes you ordered off Amazon that don’t fit properly. This is absolute bullshit.
The dumb ass security guard was probably staring at him while he was trying to take a shit, or he tried to take his bone away and Major had to let him know who’s boss. And they should consider themselves lucky that it was only a minor injury. Because if you’re getting bit by the First Dog of the United States of America, you’re clearly a pile of shit and deserve every tooth that was sunk in to your flesh. And if you think about it, wouldn’t it actually be kind of an honor to get bit by the First Dog? Shit you probably get like free healthcare for the rest of your life. I’d get bit by Major any day. Again, he’s the FIRST DOG of the greatest country in the world. He can bite whoever the fuck he wants. You don’t send his ass back to fucking Delaware, you give him a treat. Idiots.
I just hope Champ and Major return to where they belong very soon. I’m sure they’ll have to undergo some bullshit sensitivity training and promise not to bite anymore nosey security guards. Whatever. Just as long as they’re welcomed back with open arms.
And as for the security guard? I hope it gets infected.
On This Day In 1959: Barbie’s Bitch Ass Made Her Debut
Barbie. The most recognizable doll in the entire universe. And what’s not to like about her? She’s hot, blonde, skinny as a toothpick, and has boobs that belong on a woman a hundred pounds heavier than her. That being said, Barbie’s looks, clothing, and occupation has changed numerous times throughout the decades, but one thing has remained the same, controversy.
Controversy? What do you mean? Well, it may come as a shock to some of you, but a doll with a tiny waste, huge boobs, toothpick arms, and an endless supply of designer outfits, cars, and dreams homes, has rubbed people the wrong way over the years. It’s estimated that if Barbie were a real woman, her measurements would be 36-18-38. Now I have no idea what the hell these measurements mean, but apparently they’re almost impossible to obtain if you’re a real human being which gives the young girls who play with these dolls an unrealistic idea what their body’s should look like, causing them to have a negative body image. What the hell Barbie? Asshole.
In my opinion however, this unrealistic body image that Barbie portrays has nothing to do with her measurements. For starters, look at those fucking eyebrows. How in the world does she pluck those?!? They look like two arrows pointing to that giant fivehead of hers. Ya probably don’t wanna give that double decker forehead anymore attention than it already gets, Barbie. Also, who cares about the size of her boobs. Some women just have big boobs, that’s life. What concerns me more is the fact that Barbie doesn’t have any nipples to go along with them. How is she gonna breast feed?!? What kind of body image does that give to kids? Maybe Barbie had breast cancer and had them removed. Or maybe she’s an alien from a future where breast feeding is no longer necessary so evolution shaved them off. Whatever the reason though, we need answers if I’m going to be ok with little girls running around with nipple-less dolls.
And everybody always talks about Barbie and her unrealistic body. Yeah? Well have you assholes ever seen Ken’s body?!? Just look at this dude:
How in the bloody hell does a guy obtain chest muscles of that nature while maintaining his noodle arms? It’s just not possible. And talk about skipping leg day. The only time this motherfucker works his legs out is apparently walking Barbie’s ass around while she shops for more ugly outfits. Oh, and you always hear women complaining about how painful high heels are, well look at the fucking flip flops Ken is wearing. Those things are like 3 sizes too small for God’s sake. Barbie’s shoes, although hideous, at least appear to fit her.
Oh and the most astounding body feature of Ken’s? His hairline. How old is this mother fucker nowadays? Because his hairline is still PERFECT. I didn’t have a hairline that good looking when I was in high school and this jackass hasn’t lost a single hair to balding over the last 60 years. What’s Ken’s secret to keeping his hair? Changing its color two dozen times? That’s just bullshit.
Anyways, Barbie has changed a lot over the decades, and definitely for the better. She started out looking like some mean alien you wouldn’t want to piss off let alone date or play with, but over the last 6 decades she’s gotten a lot more relatable in the looks department. She’s gotten shorter, put on a few love pounds, and has reduced her boobs by a considerable margin. Barbie actually looks like an actual human being now, and has hopefully given girls a more attainable body image in the process. This is all good, obviously. But the last time I checked (which was approximately around the age of seven), she still doesn’t have nipples. All this progress and yet she still can’t breast feed her baby or start an OnlyFans account without getting made fun of.
I guess it’s a good thing she’s had careers as a zebra hunter (by the looks of her debut outfit), doctor, pilot, astronaut, olympic athlete, politician, architect, geologist, robotics AND rocket engineer, veterinarian, dentist, and surgeon... to name a few. And speaking of what’s attainable, that many career changes? Come on.
Burger King Kicked Off International Women’s Day With A Tweet For The Ages
International Women’s Day is upon us and boy oh boy did Burger King start the party off with a bang. What a tweet. You seldom see a zinger like that from any company, let alone one who does over 10 billion in sales every year. That tweet isn’t something a random intern thought of while they were drunk one night, Burger King probably had brain storming sessions and high level meetings to discuss that tweet, and yet, they still decided to send it out into the world.
Now obviously Burger King did this on purpose. They knew what they were doing. They’re not tweeting this out as some old fashioned hick who still feels women should be cooking and cleaning all day, they tweeted it out to get attention. It was a play on words if you will. And as you can see with their response to KFC Gaming, it was meant to draw attention to the fact that there’s a big lack of female representation in the culinary industry. Now was this the best way to bring attention to the matter? Well given the fact that our society is currently controlled by our love for canceling anyone and everyone we have a problem with, probably not. But it did definitely get people’s attention, which is what Burger King wanted all along. So maybe this is in fact some genius PR move by them after all. And come to think of it, lately we’ve seen shit like this actually boost company’s sales. Take Dr. Seuss books for example, or Morgan Wallen’s record sales after he was caught on video using the N word. These are weird times to say the least.
Was this a controversial tweet? Obviously. But was this still a hilarious tweet that made me laugh my ass off for 10 minutes straight? You bet your Big Mac it was. (Get it? Because McDonalds is so much more popular I don’t even know the name of a single Burger King burger). Funny, I know.
Anyways, it’s all fun and games until the first dingbat feels offended. And in the case of Burger King’s “Women belong in the kitchen” tweet, I’m sure there are entire caves filled with offended dingbats flying around right now. But lighten up ladies. It’s International Women’s Day. This should be a day of celebration and community. A day to recognize the accomplishments of your fellow women, both past and present. This shouldn’t be the day you get upset by a tweet from a fast food chain you vegan hippies don’t even eat at. So let them tweet. Who cares. Bitch about it tomorrow. Today you celebrate.
And as for Burger King? Well thanks to cancel culture, their sales will probably sky rocket. Cancel culture is actually starting to do the opposite of what those morons set out to do in the first place, they’re starting to cancel themselves and it’s quite enjoyable to watch.
Singapore Does Organ Donation Correctly And We Should All Follow Suit
If I was a police officer and had to make the decision of whether or not to give someone a ticket, whether it be for speeding, not wearing a seatbelt, getting a blowjob while driving, or whatever other offenses they see on a daily basis, the only line of reasoning I would use was whether or not their driver’s license said they were an organ donor. It’s quick and easy, and the most logical way to make the decision as far as I’m concerned.
Why you ask? Because it’s very simple. We all have to make the required trek to the DMV to renew our license. We all have to stand in line for two hours smelling body odor and farts so putrid we question whether or not this is worth being able to drive for the next decade. We all have to take some shitty photo we never want to see again, let alone show a complete stranger every time we want to buy alcohol or get into a bar. And most importantly, we all have to make the decision on whether or not we want to be an organ donor. Now for most of us this decision is very easy. If we meet unfortunate circumstances and we’re going to die anyways, why not help save a life or two. Again, we’re dead anyways. What does it matter?
Well, for a select group of people, this decision goes a different way. There are those of you, unfortunately, who have the audacity to keep your organs to yourselves in the case you die early, as asking you to help save lives when it would be of no further harm to your dead bodies, is apparently just too much to ask. And for that, you are a complete cunts and deserve every single ticket that ever comes to you. In fact, if you choose not to be an organ donor, you should be required to put a big, bright sticker on your license plates and every time a cop pulls you over it’s an automatic ticket for being an asshole. Police officers should be allowed to pull you over and pistol whip the shit out of you, simply because you chose to be a complete pile of shit at the DMV the day you said no to being an organ donor. Because what the hell is it to you? You’re fucking dead! Doctors aren’t breaking into your homes in the middle of the night and taking your organs while you sleep. This has no negative effect on you or whatever afterlife you think you’re going to, you fucking ass hats. And I have news for you, if there is actually an afterlife, you’re not gonna like where you go.
Anyways, Singapore does organ donation the way it should be done in every country. It’s very simple. When you turn 21 you are automatically registered as an organ donor. And if you choose to opt out like a pathetic selfish pussy, you are immediately put at the bottom of the organ donation priority list should you need an organ transplant. Serves you dicks right.
So choose to be a donor. It’s very easy to do and it’s the right decision. And if you don’t want to for whatever stupid reason you came up with, enjoy getting a taste of your own medicine when you need a new heart to replace your black one.
On This Day In 1876: 29 Year-Old Alexander Graham Bell Patents The Telephone
What have you done by the the age of 29? Inventing something that 99.99% of the world would use over the next 150 years is pretty impressive for a dude still in his 20s. At a time where most of his peers were blacking out four nights a week and fucking like rabbits, Mr. Graham Bell was busy developing one of the most important inventions in human history. Little did he know, however, what his prized patent would turn into and how it would be used today.
It’s probably a good thing Alexander Graham Bell passed away long before modern day telephones, because if he was still alive and saw how we used his telephone today, I think he’d hang himself with the cord. Because I’m pretty sure when he was working day in and day out to come up with a way to communicate with someone across the country, he pictured people using the technology for good. Using it for serious business or delivering urgent news. And that was probably true for the most part, when the world first started using telephones. Back then, you didn’t call someone to tell them you were horny and home alone. You didn’t call someone to talk about how Mary’s a bitch because she was flirting with Peter last night when she knows that you liked him first. You didn’t call someone to shoot the shit about absolutely nothing for an hour because your wife dragged you to the mall and she’ll been in Bed Bath and Beyond for God knows how long. People back then didn’t have time to gossip, or profess their urge to fornicate over the phone. They were too busy doing whatever the hell you did in those days. Tending the fire. Fending off small pox or the common cold. Cooking and cleaning. Humming to oneself as you knitted. I don’t know. Whatever. You get the point.
On this day in 1876, Alexander Graham Bell patented the telephone. And who knows, maybe he too, used it to bone.
If You Really Want To Thank Your Employees On Employee Appreciation Day, Pay Them More
You can throw them parties, buy them lunch, thank them in social media posts, and make them all listen to some half assed speech you threw together in 5 minutes about how much they mean to you and the company, but if you actually care about your employees and really want to show them just how valuable they are, spare the bullshit and pay them more. It’s as simple as that.
The irony of Employee Appreciation Day is that most companies aren’t willing to give their employees what they truly deserve. Sure they’ll shower them with compliments and some free food, but when it comes time to give their employees something that will actually help them and their families out, like a much deserved pay raise, ha... no way. And don’t give me this bullshit that companies wouldn’t be able to afford it. There have been numerous studies conducted showing just the opposite. And the biggest companies are the biggest culprits when it comes to being cheap. It’s simply unacceptable and quite frankly laughable that these companies pretend to give two shits about their employees.
And for the companies that actually give a damn, they don’t need one stupid day a year for employee appreciation, their employees know how valued they are. They see it every other week when their checks hit their bank accounts.
Gen Z Losers Are Trying To Cancel Eminem… Good Luck
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Good luck.
That’s all I have to say. Good... luck. You have a better chance of winning the lottery every day for the rest of your miserable lives than you do of canceling Slim Shady. And for good reason. While generation z morons site his past lyrics as “glorifying violence against women” and that he should be canceled for it, Eminem has never once been charged with a single crime against women. Eminem isn’t glorifying violence against women or saying it’s ok to do such a thing, he’s telling it how it is. This stuff happens in real life, and it’s ok to write songs about it you fucking idiots. These gen z dumb shits are too stupid to realize Eminem is playing the antagonist in a lot of these songs they get offended by. Have you ever seen a movie? Do movies ever have antagonists who behave badly towards women? Should the directors of those movies and the actors who played those roles be canceled to? That’s what I thought.
See, you idiots don’t even know what you’re talking about. You just love trying to cancel anyone who you don’t like. If someone has ever said or done something that you don’t completely agree with, instead of simply having a conversation about it or trying understand the other side, especially when it’s in the form of art, you immediately resort to trying to cancel them. What will that ever accomplish? Nothing. And Eminem isn’t a Bill Cosby or Harvey Weinstein. He has a few songs with some lyrics that are too harsh for your little ears and now you want him gone. Well that’s not going to happen because that’s not how life works you miserable morons.
But if you wanna go ahead and try to cancel the dude who other rappers are are too afraid of even having beef with, go right ahead. The rest of us will be here watching, and definitely laughing.