Papa John’s Former CEO Hard At Work Trying “To Get Rid Of This N-Word In My Vocabulary”

Remember this moron? Well unfortunately he’s hard to forget. His Papa John’s commercials couldn’t have been more boring and redundant, but since there were 5 trillion of them, he’ll forever be engrained in our brains. Luckily for us though, the pain and suffering of watching those commercials abruptly stopped when the n-word slipped out of this nitwit’s big mouth during a conference call back in 2018, which put an abrupt end to his run as Papa John’s CEO/Annoying asshole on all those pizza commercials. I’m obviously not condoning using this kind of language, but if there’s a silver lining to the whole situation, it’s that we finally got some relief from seeing his ugly mug every day. 

However, nothing good ever lasts forever. And after spending 20 months in hiding, CEO’s ex token boy reappeared like a reoccurring nightmare to give an interview with the One America News Network updating us on his progress from former klansman wannabe to whatever the heck he’s trying to make us believe he’s become. Oh and if you’re not familiar with One America News network then congratulations, keep it that way. I’ll just say this about them... Using racial slurs during a conference call probably isn’t gonna get you fired from this world class news organization, it’ll probably get you a promotion. 

Anyways, back to the ex Papa John’s bitch and the reason I’m writing this blog in the first place. In the interview he gives with OAN, Schnatter stated that he had three goals over the last 20 months, one of those being getting rid of the N-word in his vocabulary. 

According to the man himself, he’s been working to get rid “of this N-word in my vocabulary.” for the past 20 months? Yes, almost two entire years. Uh... how in the hell is it taking you almost two years to stop using the N-word? At what point does this dude just give up and never speak again, let alone try and run another company. If it’s going to take you almost two fucking years to stop saying a word most 7 year-olds know not to say, I gotta think you’re just a lost cause at that point. If a person can’t get the N-word out of their vocabulary within a certain time frame, they should legally be required to have their mouths sewn shut. And 20 months, by the way, is far longer than whatever the time frame should be. And for god sakes dude, we’ve been in quarantine for the last year! Is it seriously that difficult for you not to say the N-word just in your everyday conversations with your wife, or mistresses, or maids, or hot “therapist” or whoever else you talk to? Jesus christ man, get your shit together.  

Now I know, there are obviously a lot of extremely racist people out there that use words like this on an everyday basis. And I know I shouldn’t be surprised that someone this racist ran a company worth billions for how many years. But I just can’t get over the fact that scum like him still exist, and that he admitted it took him 20 fucking months to retrain his ignorant brain not to immediately shout out racial slurs whenever it damn well pleased. At the very least don’t admit that you moron. Make something up. The dude is just pathetic in every sense of the word. 

I guess it’s fitting that of all the pizza companies to run, he ran Papa Johns. When’s the last time you ate at that dump? That place sucks.