On This Day In 1964: The Most Overrated Music Group Of All Time Brings Their Shitty Music To America

“Groundbreaking, influential, and unique.” These words, among many others, are commonly used to describe the Beatles when talking about their music, style, and story of how they came to be. That’s just great. Who gives a fuck. 

If I was asked to describe the music this group of terrible haired hipsters put out, I’d use the same words too. Groundbreakingly bad. Influentially awful. And uniquely, just… ew. I mean come on. I don’t give a shit about their humble beginnings or how they ironically named their ‘groundreaking’ and ‘‘unique’ band after the most common fucking insect, their music sucks. Seriously. I can’t listen to more than two songs in a row without wishing someone would grant me John Lennon’s same fate. Just because their style of music was new and different doesn’t mean it was great, or even good for that matter. 

And that stupid Abbey Road album cover? Big fucking deal. They claim it only took their photographer Iain Macmillon six photos to get the perfect shot. Even if this were true, who gives a fuck. Congratulations on taking a photo of four dudes using a crosswalk correctly. The only lasting legacy that photo left behind was the fact that thousands of morons block traffic every year taking similar photos. Wow. Amazing. The only photos I’d find interesting were ones taken after a speeding driver decided to photobomb their photoshoot. Show me THAT album cover. 

The only other thing I'll talk about in relation to this terrible band and their horrible music, is their God awful fans. You have nothing better to do than await the arrival of four bozos with bowl cuts? And not only that, but you’re screaming and crying like a bunch of school girls in an 80’s slasher flick. The thousands of photos depicting these pathetic people painted the perfect picture of how crazy you had to be to like this band. 

To end this shit hole of a blog, on this day in history, the Beatles landed in America. They were something new and something unique. But groundbreaking and influential? Ha. Not a fucking chance. 

So any time you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain… from listening to their God awful music.