Hellen Keller Was Trending On TikTok And Twitter Today Because She Never Actually Lived
The most famous blind and deaf person to ever live was trending on social media platforms today and the internet is trying to figure out why... Because what the hell else is there to do during this pandemic.
I personally wasn’t very fond of her. I never knew her personally (thank God) and aside from having to learn about her in school, the only positive thing I think she’s brought the world are all the funny jokes about her. They are fucking hilarious, will NEVER get old, and if they offend you, take the blind person cane out of your ass and have a laugh why don’t you. Yes Helen Keller was blind and deaf, but she was born in the 1800s for christ sake. What the hell was there for entertainment? It’s not like people with working eyes and ears back then could enjoy those senses that much anyway. And it was probably nice being blind and deaf back then. You literally had an excuse for never doing anything.
“Can you do the dishes?” Uhh... I’m blind.
“Can you take the washboard down to the creek and clean the pants I just pooped in?” Well... Yeah again, I’m blind.
“We need someone to watch the baby today while we’re away in town.” Um... You really want a blind and deaf person watching your bratty kid?
I mean come on, does that really sound that bad? People worked their fingers to the bone every single day back then. The only time this bitch worked her fingers was when she read brail or flipped you off. Big fucking deal. And don’t even get me started on how she still went to college despite her disabilities. We all know at least a couple of people who are too stupid to read with normal functioning eyes, let alone in brail and they still went to college. It couldn’t have been that hard. And talk about having excuses lined up for when you didn’t do well on an exam. Instead of “my dog ate my homework,” imagine being able to tell your professor you didn’t study simply because your roommate moved your notes to other side of the room. Automatic A every time.
I could go on and on with my fake/sorta kinda real disdain for Helen, but I feel like you get the point. So why was she trending? It wasn’t her birthday today. It wasn’t the anniversary of the first time she successfully picked her nose without poking her eye (as if it actually mattered). So why? Well, for whatever reason there were many people today who took to social media to spread a theory that Helen Keller never actually existed. Some are also saying that while she maybe did exist, she definitely never wrote a book or did anything worth remembering her for. This just goes to show that the internet will find a way to hate on everyone, including our most beloved blind and deaf person. Does she deserve the hate? Depends who you ask I guess. And in conducting my incredibly thorough research on the matter, the one article I skimmed through said it seems as though the majority of these conspiracy theorist Helen haters are teenagers. Surprising. I know. If there’s one thing this generation of teens has taught us, it’s that absolutely no one is safe when it comes to their online playgrounds.
But regardless of whether or not she existed or did anything worth mentioning with her dark and quiet life, Helen Keller will forever be a part of our history. Kind of ironic, isn’t it. Someone you read and hear so much about, wasn’t able to do either.