Bored Security Guard Draws Eyes On Million Dollar Painting
Alexander Vasiliev, a security guard at an art gallery in Russia could face prison time after vandalizing a painting reportedly worth up to a million dollars. Prison time for vandalizing a painting?!? You’re probably wondering what he did to the artwork to deserve such punishment (unless you read the title). Did he set fire to the thing? Did he send it through a paper shredder? Rub his dick on it? Did he ok you get the point. But no, none of the above. He, well... simply finished it.
This was apparently the poor sap’s first day on the job and look, we’ve all been there. The big first day. You’re nervous, you couldn’t sleep the night before, you probably have that anxiety diarrhea we all love, and the last thing you want to do is mess anything up. And not because you actually give two shits about some meaningless job you’re going to quit in a few months, but because you don’t feel like catching an ear beating by some miserable power tripping, micromanaging ass hat with coffee breath and the perfectly putrid combination of body odor and cheap cologne. First days suck, regardless of whether or not you draw eyes on a priceless painting.
According to news reports, Vasiliev claimed he was told the artwork was done by teenagers and said teenagers even gave him a pen to draw eyes on the painting. Let’s pretend for a second that we believe this lying moron... Why on earth would you be hired as a security guard at a place that displayed artwork done by zit faced kids lacking fully developed brains. What are you guarding? Their virginities? Come on dude. We’ve all been there. You wanna make a good impression on your first day and thought finishing a priceless work of art was a good way to get the boss’s attention. Maybe the artist died of a heart attack right before they were about to add the facial features and you’re just helping them out. We’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re not just a dumbass who was fooled by some giggly girls.
And I gotta say, that shitty painting does definitely look better with eyes.