Swan Delays London Underground Because It Felt Like It

You ever fuck with a swan? I bet you haven’t. How do I know this? Because everyone in the history of humanity who has ever messed with a swan, either isn’t with us anymore or no longer has eyes to read this blog. Swans are evil, vicious, flying demon birds with teeth sharper than any saw blade you could buy at your local hardware store. 

So I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I came across the news that one of these assholes delayed the London Underground simply, well... Because he felt like it. According to multiple reports, trains were both delayed AND even cancelled, all because a single swan decided the middle of the tracks would be a good place to take a load off for an hour or so. Really?!? Cancellations and delays for over an hour. I bet a human lying on the tracks wouldn’t cause this much mayhem. If this was a black swan they probably would have just shot the thing and carried on with their day (Oh God why’d he have to go there?). Idk I’m out of things to say. 

Anyway, swans really are assholes. Workers at the station claim the bird was disoriented and seemed too weak to actually fly away. But I call bullshit. This thing knew exactly what he was doing. He was stirring up shit just because he’s a punk ass swan. It’s what they do. Ever hear a swan hiss? Who the hell does that? 

Assholes do.