Shelling 101: Marking Your Territory

Any sheller worth their salt water knows that you can’t be a successful beach comber without being the biggest, baddest bitch on the beach. The chosen one. The person everybody else knows not to mess with. Because the sand is always going to be crowded. Any beach with good shelling is going to come with a sea of people, that’s a given. Letting everybody else know that you own this pile of sand and everything that’s found on it is a good way to ensure that you get all the cool shells instead of letting a bunch of random kids and old midwesterners appreciate them as well.

So how does someone go about marking their territory? How does one separate themselves from the rest of the shell collecting cockroaches, you might ask. First thing’s first. You need to seek out the best spot to set your things down. This is called your resting zone. It’s where you’ll be taking breaks and dropping off bags of collected shells. Make sure this spot is visible from miles around. I repeat, make sure you can easily locate your belongings from walking distance. Why you may ask? It’s important you set the tone for a beach day early. And there’s nothing worse than walking back to your spot with bags full of beautiful shells as the entire beach ogles you, and suddenly you can’t find your spot. How embarrassing. In addition to this area being easily visible, you’ll also want to spread out and make this resting zone as big as possible, as it let’s everyone else know that you couldn’t care less about their personal space because you are vastly more important than they are.

Now that you have an established resting zone, it’s time to do some cleaning. Shelling is most definitely a sport, and with any proper sport comes a proper playing field. Would they still play Wimbledon if the grass was two feet tall? Would the super bowl take place if the goal posts weren’t installed? Would they race the Daytona 500 if there was only time for 499 laps? No. No. and probably not. And the same goes for the playing field when shelling. So the first thing I do is clear out any debris, rocks, or uneven spots in the sand that could cause my 30 year-old ligaments any issues if we meet. This includes people, dogs, sand castles (both old and new), people in the middle of sex acts, bags, umbrellas, bicycles, beer bottles, and anything else in my way. Now that you’ve established a clean area, known as your 'shelling zone’, you are ready to shell! Remember to take as many good shells as you can possibly find. And shoving or tripping little kids is only cruel and punishable if enough adults see you do it and they are young and/or agile enough to chase you down the beach and actually apprehend you long enough for the police to get there and arrest you. Lot a ifs and ands there. Not my fault kids aren’t good on their feet. You should be fine.

The final thing to remember when marking your shelling territory is there’s no such thing as too big of an area. That simply doesn’t exist. I’ll rope off the entire state of Florida if I’m finding good enough shells. Walmart sells very cheap rope and you’d be surprised how many stakes you can find on the beach if you don’t care whether or not they’re currently being used. That’s all for this installment of shelling 101. Stay tuned for more.