Scientists Discover 24 Planets Better For Life Than Earth… So What’s The Catch?

Almost two million years is the catch. Because given our current technology, it would take roughly 1.7 million years to get anywhere near one of these planets. If you think the annual road trip with your annoying family is hard, just imagine how many of your sibling’s farts you’d consume on this vacation from hell.

So what exactly makes these planets so special? A study conducted by Washington State University describes “superhabitable” planets as those that are older, a little larger, slightly warmer, and possibly wetter than Earth. Uh, come again? Older? Larger? Warmer? AND… Wetter?!? Are we talking about the criteria for something I’d want to inhabit or all the elements needed to make good milf porn. I guess if you think about it, they’re one and the same. Any planet worthy of starring in its own x rated space fantasy is definitely good enough to live on.

I didn’t feel like reading the rest of the article, but I’m going to assume they didn’t offer up any ideas on how to reach these planets any quicker. So unfortunately, like any good milf porn, this too will remain a fantasy.

Shucks.