People Who Prefer Their Pizza Cut Into Squares Are Freaks
Seriously. If you like your pizza cut into square slices instead triangles like the rest of the world, you are a freak and should be banned from ever eating another pizza. This picture is a perfect example of why pizza has always been cut into triangles. One word... EVEN FUCKING PIECES. Ok three words. But come on, who the fuck wants to eat those tiny crust triangles that you always get when the pizza comes in squares. And why would I want to go through the laborious process of putting 27 little squares on my plate when I can just put a few large, perfectly cut, even triangles of NORMAL looking pizza on my plate in two seconds. By the time you square cut weirdos are done picking out which pieces you want to take (because we all do when a pizza is cut into a billion pieces), I’ll be done eating my pieces and back in line for seconds.
There is literally no benefit to butchering a pizza into little one or two bite pieces. Give me one good reason. And you can’t say, “Well, sometimes triangle slices are too big and I want more than one piece but not more than two pieces, so little squares are better.” Yeah? Who the hell can’t finish a piece of pizza even when they’re full? The answer is no one. It’s fucking pizza! And don’t try to tell me that squares are better for when there are a lot of people eating because then everybody gets like three bites worth of pizza and no one is happy. AND, slicing a pizza into little squares takes way longer! I just want to eat the damn thing, not take 10 minutes to chop it up while it gets cold. There’s not a single reason to cut pizza any other way than the way it’s always been sliced... Big, even, perfect, triangles.
And another thing, if a restaurant is slicing their pizzas into squares because they make square pizzas to begin with, they’re freaks too and shouldn’t be allowed to make pizza anymore. The only thing that should be square when it comes to pizza is the box it comes in. Seriously though. Square pizza? Square slices? Why don’t you start making square pepperoni slices while you’re at it too, and put the square pizza in a round box. All I’m trying to say is, just make a round pizza with normal slices. It’s the easiest way, and best way, for a reason.
Leave the weird pizza to those vegan creeps.