On This Day In 1781: The Greatest Planet Of All Time Is Discovered
On this date almost 250 years ago, the German-born English astronomer William Herschel discovered the single greatest planet in the entire universe. Which planet you ask? Well it should be blatantly obvious to anyone who has anything remotely resembling a brain. When Herschel discovered the planet in 1781 he gave it the name Georgium Sidius, meaning “Georgian Planet” in honor of King George the third of England. Georgium Sidius? What the fuck planet is that? Why is that the greatest planet of all time? Well, thanks to another astronomer, Johann Bode, the planet is now forever known as Uranus.
That’s right. The single greatest planet in the history of planets. If there was a Mount Rushmore of planets, Uranus would be all four. As I stated, William Herschel technically discovered the planet, but no one should give a rat’s ass about him because he wasn’t the one who made this planet so great, Johann Bode did. Georgium Sidius? Who gives a shit about some dead King. Uranus is a name that will forever live in the minds of anyone from immature middle schoolers to the most mature adults It’s like the number 69. It will always be funny, and that’s all thanks to the great Johann Bode. This man deserves a statue outside every school, a street in every town named after him, and an entire chapter dedicated to his life in every science textbook. Schools shouldn’t even bother teaching students how the planet was discovered or why he chose the name ‘Uranus’ because who cares, that’s boring. Just focus on the fact that it’s apparently a very gassy planet, and named URANUS. That’s it. That’s all that matters.
In 1986 the Voyager 2, an unmanned U.S. spacecraft, apparently visited Uranus and found some more moons and a few faint rings around it. Nothing too exciting. But that’s why we need to put 100% of our NASA budget to learning more about our most cherished little ball of gas. Who gives a shit about living on Mars with Elon Musk and his weirdo family, we need to know everything there is to know about Uranus. We should be exploring that sucker everyday for the next thousand years.
I mean come on. Who doesn’t like exploring Uranus?