The Michigan State Spartans Are Officially The Biggest Sellouts Of All Time

Michigan State has always been the pathetic little brother to the University of Michigan. They’re the school nobody wants to go to, but if you’re a moron from Michigan and can’t get into the campus in Anne Arbor, Michigan State is where you unfortunately land. The student body is uglier, the campus is uglier, and now... even their men’s basketball team is uglier. Because in the biggest sellout bitch move of all time, the Michigan State men’s basketball team is now officially named the ‘MSU Spartans Presented by Rocket Mortgage’. Yes. That is correct. 

What an absolute joke of a program. The Michigan State Spartans presented by Rocket Mortgage will forever be known as the biggest sellout school of all time. They could win the national championship the next ten years in a row and that would still be overshadowed by the fact that they’re now named after a fucking mortgage company. And now they’ll forever be made fun of every time they play on the road. I can’t wait to see what jokes opposing student sections will come up with. And this also sets a new precedent. Are more schools going to follow suit? Half of me hopes Michigan State will be the only school ever to do this, but the other half of me kind of wants to see what other pathetic schools come up with in terms of sponsors. I can just see it now, some division two or three school with an adult entertainment store patch sewn on to all of their jerseys. The possibilities are truly endless. 

So congratulations Michigan State, you have officially become the biggest joke in the history of college sports, the biggest sellouts in the history of college sports, and if you weren’t the butt of EVERY joke circling the Anne Arbor campus, you are now. Hope you’re proud. 

And who are you kidding? We all know Sparty is way too stupid to learn how to fly a rocket.