Bowling 101: Night Bowling vs. Day Bowling

Night bowling, or black out bowling, or midnight bowling, or laser show bowling or whatever the hell your hometown calls bowling after old people go to bed. Everybody who’s ever bowled more than like three times in their life knows that bowling under black lights is for chumps. First of all, the second those black lights come on, you all instantly find out who’s not wearing clean clothes. You have no vision, which every seasoned bowler knows is key. If I can’t see the oil pattern, I can’t bowl it. Plus those black lights are fun for like three songs and then you just wanna see normally again. Also, bowling shoes are ugly enough, we don’t need to turn the lights off and highlight them for the world to see. Night bowling is so overrated and anybody who disagrees clearly had much better bowling alleys growing up.

I think day bowling is a thousand times more fun. For starters, day bowling is usually much more quiet. You normally get a nice relaxing, yet kind of peppy country/pop playlist to slightly tap a foot to instead of those hair pulsating ones they play to accommodate the black lights. You don’t have to scour and scratch for every good ball. You instead get your pick of the litter, and being the pickiest bastard is fun as all hell. I love going through ball after ball until I get that perfect fit, spreading god knows what diseases and germs from one greasy hole to another as I go. Every once in a while you’ll have to compete with a gym class or like an old person day care program, but there should be plenty of balls to go around.