Let’s Put An End To Grab Bars In Hotel Showers

I’ve officially hit my left elbow on the LAST hotel shower grab bar. That’s it. I’m done. As the shattered remains of my arm rattle like skeletons hanging for Halloween, I can’t help but question why these things exist in the first place. I mean really? If I wanted a stripper pole in my bathroom I’d just stay home. Why do grab bars in hotel showers exist? Who are they helping? Old people? You literally have entire chains of hotels just for you, they’re called nursing homes or caskets. So who? Lazy people? If you’re lazy enough to want a grab bar in your shower, news flash, you ain’t bathing on a regular basis if at all. Fat people? It’s called the hotel swimming pool. There’s plenty of space and chemicals to clean all those hard to reach creases and canals, so I have no idea why jamming yourself into a shower would be the more appealing choice. Uhh… Legless people? Ok how are you rolling into that tub/shower combo in the first place? They’re out, literally. Who else? Serial killers? If you tie a person up to one of those and they can’t rip it out of the wall in six seconds, I don’t know what to tell ‘em besides they should maybe hit the gym before getting kidnapped next time. So who is actually using these things? Short kings? Are they scaling the grab bar to change the shower head setting to their queen’s liking? Ok that actually makes sense. Fine. Keep the grab bars in hotel showers for the short kings. Gotta do what ya gotta do. I get it. 

Fuck my elbow.