Husband Refuses To Forgive Wife For Flatulence
DailyMail.com - A wife is at a loss for what to do after farting in front of her 'disgusted' husband nine years into the relationship.
The Australian woman, Emma*, said her husband Rob* refuses the forgive the 'disgusting and unladylike' offence despite friends insisting he is the one in the wrong.
Emma told Kidspot she had always known Rob hated women farting or burping, and for the duration of their nine year relationship she made a conscious effort never to do either in front of him.
She is still trying to live down the night she accidentally 'let one rip' as she was falling asleep after eating too much pizza.
'Farting is the most unladylike thing a woman can do, especially in front of her husband,' Rob said to her after the incident.
Her friends are outraged at Rob's behaviour and can't believe anyone could be so upset over a natural bodily function.
However, Emma said she is still feeling conflicted and although she knows farting is normal, she also respects how distasteful her husband finds it and doesn't want to disappoint him as he is 'wonderful' in every other way.
*Names have been changed
We’ve all been there. After a good first couple of months dating someone new, you’re now banging it out on the regular, you’re starting to feel comfortable with each other’s bodies, and now comes the ultimate test in making the new relationship and love for one another official. Farting. Yep. Let ‘er rip!!! Let those gas bubbles belt out that beautiful bodily love song. Because a heck of a lot more goes into professing your love for someone than simply saying those three words. Anyone with a working word box can claim to love somebody, that isn’t anything special. But feeling comfortable enough to release that greasy, shit food induced air that’s been held captive by your clenched asshole for the last several hours in front of the person you just let lick said area? That’s the real ‘I love you’.
As for the unfortunate case of Emma and Rob, or whatever their names are as they’ve been changed, probably like Edwin and Shirley. Dude definitely seems like an Edwin. Anyways… As for Emma/Shirley and Rob/Edwin I guess TRUE true love is hard to find. Emma/Shirley wants the ability to sneak out the occasional body buzzer without her husband thinking she’s a disgusting sorry excuse for a woman, and Rob/Edwin simply wants his wife to wait until he’s not around before she sends a few of her own clouds into the atmosphere. Barring any judgement on either party, I’d say this relationship has come to a rumbling end. And for Emma/Shirley, if letting one rip is the reason her marriage has been ripped apart, I say good. Grab a clean pair of underwear from that sacred drawer, hop in the shower, scrub that muffler out, and get back in the game. You’ll find true love. If farting in front of your partner doesn’t tug at their heart strings, it’s time to find a new instrument to play. Because tugging on that skin flute isn’t the only way to show your man just how much you love him.
Good luck Emma/Shirley.