Florida Man Assaults Wife With Christmas Tree After Being Asked To Help Make Dinner
Fox News - A Florida man allegedly threw a Christmas tree at his wife during an argument that was sparked when she asked him to help make dinner, authorities said.
Richard Atchison, 52, “lost his temper” in the couple’s Fruitland Park home Monday evening after his wife asked for help and put a spoon in the sink, accidentally splashing him with water, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by FOX 35 Orlando.
Atchison packed his things and went outside to his vehicle, before returning home because “he had been drinking” and told his wife to leave instead.
When the wife tried to go, deputies say Atchison shoved her, picked up a Christmas tree that was in the corner of the room and threw it at her, striking her. He then allegedly blocked the front door to prevent her from leaving.
Atchison was booked on domestic battery charges and taken to the Lake County Jail without incident.
Ok before we immediately judge this wonderful gentleman from the Sunshine State, we need to ask a couple hard hitting questions. Let’s get to the bottom of why he tried to use his wife as a human tree topper before we pass any judgement… Do we know how complicated this dinner was? Was it reheating pork chops or cooking a Thanksgiving feast? Did she ask him to cut up a tomato? Or chop up a 50 pound bushel of onions? What kind of help are we talking here? Don’t get me wrong, everyone should pitch in to help make dinner, I’m not a misogynistic barbarian. Hell I don’t even know how to spell misogonie. But I think it’s important that we know the level of help his wife was asking for here. Does the crime fit the cooking request?
Also, how big was this Christmas tree? This was in Florida after all. Again I’m not going to pass any judgment, but based off this story, that mugshot, and the fact that this took place in Florida, I’m gonna go ahead and assume this was a tree of the very small and plastic variety. Unless this dude is roided up pumping iron every day, I don’t think southern Santa Clause is just casually tossing trees across the room. Although I hear meth is one hell of a drug. Who knows. Anyways, there’s a lot they left out. And I don’t feel comfortable judging the character of a man whose flip flops I’ve never walked a sandy mile in.
P.S. In all seriousness, I hope he didn’t break any family heirloom ornaments. Talk about REALLY pissing off the wife.