French Physicists Put Entire World On Notice After Creating Bubbles That Are Hard To Pop

If you thought ‘Don’t Look Up’ was unnerving, just wait for its sequel... ‘Don’t Look at the Little Girl Blowing Bubbles In The Park’. That’s right. Who gives a shit about some astroid that’s been circling our planet for the last gazillion years. If that bitch still hasn’t fought us, it never will. No. What we should all be deathly afraid of are these French assholes blowing these new, damn near impossible to pop, bubbles. 

According to various articles I skimmed through and don’t feel like crediting, evil French scientists at the University of Lille have figured out a way to make bubbles much stronger, so much so that one bubble in particular lasted 465 days before finally popping. That’s insane. Inflatable pools don’t last that long. 

Now I know this probably doesn’t worry most of you, but it should. Because how in the hell does someone make a bubble that’s nearly impossible to pop?!? What are these things made out of? Snot? Are these French creeps going to playgrounds and kidnapping the kids with the runniest noses? Are they making these things out of condoms? How the hell are they doing this. 

The physicists working on this top secret project claim “Glycerol” is the difference maker. Because of its stabilizing effects, they say “Glycerol” is able to blah blah blah yeah whatever. I call bullshit. The French are up to something. And I don’t think a bunch of weirdos running around blowing bubbles that could be used as floating wrecking balls is in our best interest. Give a bottle of this shit to the wrong kid and you’ve got the next school massacre on your hands. 

Fuckin’ French.