The Secret To Finding The Best Barber Around
Why is finding a good barber so hard? Does anybody have a longtime barber they absolutely love? A classic, no frills barber. You sit in the chair, and they cut your hair. Nothing else. And it’s perfect every time. They’re not gonna ask to trim your eyebrows, or give you a neck rub, or clip your toenails or whatever the fuck some of these weirdos do nowadays. Hell they won’t even clean their clippers between cuts. But god damn if that isn’t the best haircut you’ve ever gotten. And every single time too. They’re not gonna ask how your grandma’s hip surgery went or put a hot towel on your neck and get all the itchy hair off after. But you won’t have to adjust your sideburns when you get home or go to another barber to fix whatever the hell they did to your hair. Sure there’s like thirty years of dandruff and zit juice on every tool they have, but maybe it helps get that fade just right. Who am I to judge? I guess the point of this blog is that it seems like finding a good reliable barber is getting harder and harder nowadays.
You ever been to sport clips? That fuckin nightmare. I have a friend who’s into that creepy shit. He’s always telling me… “You need to go to sport clips dude. It’s the best. They wash your hair, massage your head, give you a shoulder rub, flirt with you, you can watch tv…” Uh… do they cut your fucking hair? Or do I need to go down the street to a real barbers after? I’m not paying for someone to be my girlfriend for an hour. I just want a good haircut. And I’ll pay whatever. I don’t know if I’m in the minority as a man, but if I find a good barber, that mother fucker could charge me anything and I’ll pay it. A thousand dollars plus my first born? Sounds good!
So what’s the secret to finding a good barber? Look for a lasagna like layering of zit juice and dandruff on every tool in the shop. If that mother fucker is so focused on cutting your hair that he hasn’t thought to wash his tools in thirty years, you’re in business. So sit back, relax, and get ready to receive the best damn haircut you’ve ever gotten. Zit juice and dandruff included.