Nature Valley’s New Design Is Their Crumbiest Yet
Nature Valley, better known as the crumb company, has officially released their new packaging for their famous granola bars/crumb piles. While the look of the packaging isn’t a drastic change from their old design, the biggest change comes in the form of the material. According to Nature Valley, their new packaging, a polyethylene film, is fully recyclable. YAY. SAVE THE EARTH. Right? Well... There’s a catch.
In one of the dumbest moves in the history of recycling innovation, you have to take your Nature Valley wrappers to select stores in order to actually recycle them. Yes you read that right. YOU have to drive around until you find a store that takes this stuff. Where the hell are these stores? No one knows. How many of these stores are there in any given town? Your guess is as good as mine. And yeah whatever, I know, they’re trying to help save the world. But this isn’t the way to do it.
Who the hell is going to save every single granola bar wrapper in hopes of some day finding one of these mystery stores? For starters, you have to first dump out the three pounds of crumbs that come with every granola bar, then you have to find a place to store the wrappers for the next three months, and then you actually have to remember to bring your hoard of wrappers with you whenever you feel like recycling these fucking things. I don’t know about you but that seems like a lot of work for the person who paid for the product. Shouldn’t this be Nature Valley’s job? That would be like eating at a restaurant and then having to go in the back and hand wash your own dishes because it’s more environmentally friendly than a dishwasher. I get that we should all be recycling, but if you think I’m gonna go to a store every time I want to recycle a god damn granola bar wrapper you’re out of your fucking mind. I don’t care, let the glaciers melt. I hope ALL the polar bears die because of these stupid fucking wrappers.
And to all of you hipster weirdos who will actually take this shit to a store and make some clueless high schooler nervously wonder around until they find a co-worker who knows what the fuck to do with these things, congratulations, your year-long supply of wrappers helped make the arm for an ugly plastic chair no one wants to sit on.
The world is crumbling, and it’s all your fault, Nature Valley.